Wednesday, 28 May 2014

Struggling with My Weight- Part 1

By:
Marini
                Weight is just a number…yet we do need to worry about it if the numbers keep increasing with no limit. I have been struggling to lose weight for the entire of my life. When I was a little girl I was thin. I can remember that time, such a lovely girl (yuck) but when I was 9 years old I was starting to put some weight on me and it continued until present day…I mean, now…haha…so pathetic.  I don’t know what to say, my appetite towards food was so “crazy”. I felt hungry all the time. The feeling of desire to eat food seems like I can die if I don’t eat a lot. Supposedly, we need to eat to live not live to eat. If I make this phrase as principle in my life may be I will not become like this. Well, nobody to be blamed. Blame myself of course. I cannot blame my late mother for cooking a lovely meal, oh yes my mother was a good cook. She was trying to remind me about controlling my food intake but my father supported me and yet I cannot blame my father too. He always tells me to eat whatever I want to eat because when I get sick, when I am getting older I cannot eat delicious food anymore. Point was taken and here I am stuck with this heavy body.
                Now, let me tell you my story, a story of my journey to lose weight and still struggling to lose  weight. I never take seriously about my body until I was in college. So, I have been chubby for many years and I don’t even care about my looks… my appearance. I felt happy with my life although sometimes it felt hurt when people insulted me about my weight. I never workout and if I did that, it was for fun not for losing weight so I didn’t care about what I ate. This happened until I wanted to further my studies in degree. I need to do the medical checkup before registered at my faculty so I hopped up on the weight scale and the number had frightened me. I was freak out when I looked at the number. It was 79kg! That was my heaviest weight, I think. Hence, the doctor asked me to watch out my diet and he asked me to lose some weight. It was a wakeup call for me. I felt so embarrassed at that time. When I calculated the BMI, yes…I was overweight. From that moment I started to work out-jog, aerobic and I said good bye to RICE. I did it in a few months. Well, I started getting busy with my studies and I exercise now and then. Unfortunately, there was no change. The scale was not showing any decreases of my weight. Then, I gave up.
                To make long story short, I was 75kg when I finished my Master. It meant that I lost only 4kg in 5 years… DAMN… At that moment, I didn’t mind at all about my weight. Just let it be…Then, I got a job. In my first year serving in my post I was determined to lose my weight because I wanted to get married. Hahaha..so I consumed  LAMI (please don’t take this…this product has been banned. It is not good to our body)…but this product was so efficient, I lost 10kg within less than 3 months. Everyone at home was surprised to see me. 65kg ok…I never been at that number for a long time. I was so happy. I can wear L size cloth (before that XL,XXL)…I can feel that I was beautiful and my self-esteem became high.
                Then, I got married… I gained weight again. I never step on the scale because I didn’t want to feel disappointed but I knew that I gained weight because I cannot fit perfectly in my cloths anymore. Furthermore, I cannot fit my engagement rings too. After that I continued diet and workouts and I experienced yo-yo effect. In conclusion, within 4 years of my marriage I didn’t realize that I was overweight and the same thing happened to my husband too. We put on so much weight together.
                One day in 2012,I would like to donate blood. The nurse asked me to step on the scale and I was so shocked to see the number. 84kg…that was the heaviest weight I ever archived in my entire life (I think)…  At that moment, I feel my world is so dark, I feel empty… Ok, something needs to be done. I started diet again…no carbo at all, I don’t eat rice…just vegetables, fruits and protein. Workout…on and off…I did this about a few months. Nothing had happened. Again, yo-yo effect. July 2012 I was 87kg. Damn…mencarut lagi.hahaha. (This happened because although I didn’t eat rice I couldn’t guarantee that what I ate was healthy…chicken with fat on it, vegetables fried with too much oil, fish cooked with coconut oil..etc)
                I always see doctors to do medical checkup and guess what the doctors had said? I need to lose weight so that my period will stabile and it will be easier for me to get pregnant. Ok, point is taken. So I decided to take it seriously. I started to consume Alpha Lipid SD2…one unit is RM150. I consumed 5 cans of SD2 and I just lost 5kg only meanwhile other people can lose about 4-5kg with only 1 can. I spent almost a thousand ringgit. I need to mention here, during consuming SD2, the user cannot eat carbo at all, no sweet drinks even fruits. We need to eat vegetables and protein only. So can you imagine how slow my metabolism is? After I lost 5kg, a lot of my friends noticed my changes even my students noticed that too. So, I stopped consumed SD2, it is not worth it to continue. I did some research on why SD2 is not effective for me. I found out that people who is suffering with unbalance hormone is not suitable to consume SD2. It will not give you any benefit. No wonder my body cannot cooperate with SD2. After that I tried Shaklee (Lecithin,Herblax,Omega Guard and Alfafa).  Bad result… I just lost 1-2 kg only. Buang duit…Furthermore, I was not discipline enough while consuming Shaklee. In conclusion, any product slimming is not suitable for me. (because of the hormone, I think but I wonder how LAMI was effective for me).  #$^%#!(mencarut dalam hati)
                When I lost 5kg after consumed SD2, I started my old bad habit again. Eat a lot…because I was so happy and I was satisfied when I lost 5kg(80kg at that time). My bad-eating-habit continued until I gained 85kg. Sedih balik,podacit.  Then, starting in May 2013 I started to jog every evening and control my diet without taking any supplement and slimming product. I set my new goal. I did a lot of research regarding of losing weight in a safety way. Biar lambat asal selamat,kan. The only way to lose weight is by exercise and diet. The safe weight loss is 0.5-1 kg in a month because If we lose weight drastically, it will harm our internal organ. I lost weight but very slowly because I have low metabolism. I set my target to lost 2kg in a month, it is enough for me. Fortunately, I lost 8kg within 3 months (76 kg). I was so happy BUT after raya I gained 2kg. Biasalah time raya melantak makan.  About a few months I maintain my weight -78/79kg. There are times, I stopped workout and eat rice because I’m still in treatment for IUI.
                2014… still struggling with my weight. I stopped workout starting from January to March because I missed my period. I thought I was pregnant. Of course I gained weight after doing nothing but eat..eat…eat. March 2014, I was 82kg. I started again my routine. I am still targeting losing 2kg in a month.  I lost 3 kg (79.4kg) in 3 weeks. Amazing! In May 2014, I stopped my routine for 3 weeks because I was performing IUI and my weight was 80.7kg on 26/5/2014. It was weird because usually if I didn’t work out for a long time I will gain so much weight but this time I gained 1.3kg only. Amazing… my body was behave. Hahaha…
                This week(26/5/2014-30/5/2014), I am fasting(ganti puasa). Today is the third day. On the first day I did aerobic, the second day… I jogged. Today I don’t feel like doing any exercises. Nak rileks. Timbang berat…79kg. Wow, amazing… I lost 1.7 kg only in 3 days. That is the power of fasting+workout.  My aim was losing 1 kg in this week but I lost more than 1kg already. I am so happy but I must be careful because I will stop fasting starting from tomorrow. This Saturday is my official weigh in. I really hope the number will make me happy.  That’s it. This is my journey of losing weight and I am still struggling with it.
                My goal: In the end of this year = 70kg (9 kg more to go)
                Motto: lose 2kg in a month but effort like 1 kg 1 week (4kg in a month)
                Method: Exercises and diet plus discipline.
                Motivation: I want to get pregnant (that is my first important reason) and I want to wear  
                                       my engagement rings.
                Summary            
                July 2012 = 87kg
                Present day (28/5/2014) = 79kg
                Total lost = 8kg within 2 years. (because of the yo-yo effect)
                GOOD LUCK, MAR. YOU CAN DO IT.
                I will update my story soon. Hopefully I will post my successful story. In sha Allah.
 
 

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