By:
Marini
I
am a government servant. Yar…yar…yar… nothing to worry about…easy work compared
to work in private sector: retire with full pension, flexible working hour,
easy to take leave and so many benefits. It is supposed to be fun working in
government sector, after all, to be a teacher is my dream job. Unfortunately, I
don’t feel the passionate of going to work anymore especially during semester
break because I am so passionate in teaching so when there are no students
around I feel so numb, don’t know what I am supposed to do during this time.
Going
to the class is the happiest moment in my life. I feel so happy seeing my
students and I hope they happy to see me too. I become a different person when
conducting the class. I can forget about my other problems. It is just between
my students and me. I love to see them laugh, play around with their friends
and when they show respect to me as their teacher, that is the best moment.
My
journey to become a teacher was so challenging but Alhamdulillah here I am. Although
I had a huge opportunity to be a UiTM lecturer (and of course it will be so
many advantages), I am satisfied to be a polytechnic lecturer. This is my faith.
I need to realize that there is a reason why I am here. No doubt about that so
no regrets.
Time
after time my motivation towards my carrier becomes low. I do love teaching but
when it comes to ancillary task, I become stress out. So many things to be done.
I don’t have to mention the details, it is enough to describe in this word : the task it is not just teaching…it is more
than that! I cannot decline that it is the truth being a polytechnic
lecturer but that is the main factor why I am feeling so down right now. It
will be so heaven if my work just related with teaching and learning process…going
to the class, go back from the class…don’t have to think about other stuff. Well,
it will not gonna to be happen.
Every
morning (during semester break) I wake up with determinant to be progressive
but when I arrive at my office the determination is gone. I start doing other
things not related with my work such as typing this entry. Why is this
happening to me? Well… I need my students to boost my motivation…a day without
them is like living in darkness.
Actually,
when students are having fun in their semester break, all the lecturers can
also having our fun having so many free times. We don’t have to think about
going to the classes, deal with the problem students, don’t have to mark papers
and ect. Unfortunately, we have zillion things to do. We need to update our
notes, updates our assessments, attending courses, doing other ancillary tasks…
see, so many things to do. Supposedly, I will don’t feel bored but my
passionate is teaching. I cannot imagine myself doing other thing other than
teaching. That is why I feel “empty” every semester break.
Teaching
is my passionate but am I still motivated? YES…I AM….but during semester break,
I don’t feel motivated at all. New semester will start in 2 weeks. I can’t wait
to start teaching again after 2 months not doing that. I am super exciting. Can’t
hardly wait. I hope I will become a better teacher. I want to share my knowledge
to my students. I want to teach them to be a good person. I want them to know
that I will always be there for them. After all, teaching is the work of heart.
I will show them that gaining knowledge is the fun process. I want them to feel
sincere to seek for knowledge not just because they have to do it for the sake
of their parents’ needs. I want to have fun teaching. I always want to be a
loving teacher and I want my students to see me as their guidance angle not as
an instructor. Yes, I am still motivated to be a teacher. I love my job!
