Stupidity leads to embarrassment

By:

Marini

            Telling you the truth I did a lot of things that show my stupidity. I am not going to write down the lengthy list of my stupid acts. It is enough for me to say I will feel so embarrassed until I feel want to dig a hole in the sand and stuff my head into it. I keep doing the same mistakes; never take it as a lesson. I will not think twice before I want to do anything. It would be nice if I take just a brief seconds to think the impact of every acts that I am going to do. It is useless to regret after things has been done. Let past be the past. I should be careful of what I will think, say and do. My point is; think before you talk. You will regret if you slip out your words. 

Kindness

By:

Marini

My friends always tell me that I am a kind person, a person who is willing to help anyone as possible as I could. They see me as a problem solver. I don't know whether it is true or not. After all, people is our best mirror to see the truth inside us.

My family will seek help from me if they need help in financial problem. A few of my friends also will seek me with the same problem. As long as I can remember, I helped them by lending them some money. Sometimes I gave them without having any intention to get the money back. It is called as "sedekah" or giving away as a charity. In fact, a few of my friends never return the money although they were making promises to pay me back. I don't mind at all. I call it as "tak ada rezeki" or having the faith that the money is not mine. 

I am helping them not because I am so rich but because I know the feel of not having anything. However, sometimes I am thinking by myself, if I need help especially in money, who will help me? I can't think of any single person who really can help me. At least,that is what my husband always reminds me. By the way, I am so grateful of having a supportive husband who is always helps me to help people. He doesn't mind to help others too although sometimes he is nagging at me of being so kind to people without considering about ourselves. We argued about this a lot. For me, it is a great thing to do if we give people in need what we don't have but in his opinion we have to think about ourselves first before giving away to somebody else because if we are in trouble,no one we will help us. Well, I believe that God will reward us with a good thing if we help people sincerely. 

"Sedekah" is one of the ways to clean our inner spirit. "Sedekah" is something that is encouraged in Islam. We share what we have to others without hoping to get rewards from them. "Sedekah" also is one of the efforts that I need to do to get pregnant. "Make a lot of sedekah, then Allah will ease you to conceive", some people will say. That is what we as a husband and wife is doing right now and in sha Allah will continue doing it.

In spite of helping people with money, my friends also see me as someone who will ease someone's work. My principle is if we ease other people's business, Allah will ease our business too. But my problem is I don't like to seek help from people because I am afraid to be rejected although I never reject when people need my help but I believe somehow Allah will help me in some other ways. I will keep helping people the best way as I could and I give my whole hope to Allah to take care of my business like I take care of others' business as well.

Spread your kindness to everyone today. You may not know how Allah will pay for your kindness. Always have believe in Allah which He will take care of you when you are in a big trouble. Sometimes He will send an angel(malaikat) to help you,who knows.

Pen off.

Blogging at KLIA

Hi there, nothing much to tell actually. I am waiting for my brother in law to check in for his flight to Madinah and I am alone now. My husband and his brother are going to the prayer room. (This post is resemble with my diary. OMG... I will try my best not to make my blog as my diary)

I was looking around this area. I could see a lot of people with their big luggages. Everyone of them has their own destination. This airport is just the transit before they proceed their journey. Everyone is hoping that they will arrive safely and people who are waiting for them also are praying for their safety. Suddenly, the tragedy of MH370 flashed in my mind. It is been a year after that tragedy.Anyway, I am not interested in MH370 story. After all, this post is only about my random thought.

Haish...blank. I have nothing more to tell.

Have a safe journey Dr. Hussain. Wish you to have a "haji mabrur". Please pray for my husband and me to get pregnant soon. Please send our warm regards to Rasullah saw. Please pray for us  so that we will be His next guest. Please be safe. We will wait for your homecoming.

pen off.

Cheap merchandise is not good?

By:

Marini Mohd Thaib

            “Kalah Membeli Menang Memakai” is a proverb that shows it is worth to pay with a lot of money for something that is so in good quality. People will spend money for something good doesn’t matter for items, services, food or anything. Why is that some items/services/food are expensive? It is because it made from the quality sources, established branding, it is hard to do it and so many reasons.

            How about if you can buy something with a same usage but with the cheaper price? Maybe some of them will not having faith to pay for low quality stuff, at least that is what they are thinking of. I believe in needfulness rather than desire. Why we need to pay more for something that we can get with a low price? And yes…again people will say good things=expensive and low quality things=cheap but for me as long as we can have the same impact of using that thing no matter the price is, it should be no problem with me. Well, of course it is depending of what you are comparing of. For an instance, my friends love to buy food container with Tupperware brand. For me it is super expensive. A small container can cost about RM40++ and it can archive to hundreds ringgit for a set. I can have the same food container with the lower price as low as RM2. My food is still in a good condition and the food container is in a good shape for a long period.

            Second example is apparels. My friends spend so much money to buy branded handbags. My handbag is cheaper than theirs but my handbag can last in years without any damage. See…branded items can’t give you guarantee that they can have a “long life”. As time goes by they will fade like the cheap items too. So why pay for more? Another example, my friends love to buy  “batik” to make as “baju kurung”. It can cost you hundreds. Well, ask yourself, why we need cloth? So that we can cover ourselves, right? It is enough for me to find something nice to look but cheap as long as it can cover my huge body. A watch…it can show us time…so I don’t need an expensive watch to do that to me. I am using Casio and I still thinking it is quite expensive for me. Well, a lot of people will argue with my opinion. We need to pay more for a good stuff.  I agree with you. Maybe I don’t have so much money to buy the extravaganza things so buying a cheaper thing is the only choice that I have.

            However, they are a few of things that we need to consider of the price with high quality. I will not doubt that. For an instance…shoes. We need a pair of good shoes to support our body because our feet need to absorb our weight body and we need our feet to walk around. So we need to consider high quality shoes with higher price. There a lot of other examples not to mention here.

            It is up to you to spend more money for certain purposes. You can do anything with your money. It is none of my business. My concern is, why spending so much money on things that you can get with a lower price? Self-satisfaction? To show off? I don’t know. You are the only one who know the answer.

            Buying things that you need is a result of your hard work, buying things that you desire is a reward of your hard work. Which one is yours?

Status that should posted in FB but I didn't dare to do it...My hopes are gone

By:

Marini Mohd Thaib

I went to see a doctor last Friday and had a scan to confirm that whether I am pregnant or not since it has been 4 months I didn't get my period. The result was negative. My heart was crushed and I felt devastated. That's it. I am done. I don't feel to try anymore. I need time to gain my strength. For the time being I want to focus on my weight loss. No more thinking of TTC anymore. Maybe in July I will continue my treatment. 

This is my first time I am being open about my feelings. I never mention about my feelings of not having a child to strangers. Well, nobody is reading my blog any way so I don't mind to share it worldwide. 

Keep trying Mar although you are losing hope now and then. Allah has a good plan for you. He knows what is the best for you. Have a faith on Him!

Still hoping

By:

Marini

            It has been six years I have been married to my husband but there is no sign of any child. In the third year of marriage we had decided to seek for help so we went to LPPKN in Kuala Lumpur to ensure the problems we might have. After a few months of waiting for the result, the doctor diagnosed me as lack of progesterone hormone meaning that my ovum is not producing the “seed” at all while my husband’s sperms are normal (in a superb condition). In the other hand, I am barren or cannot have child on my own. Fortunately, today’s technology is advance and can help women like me to conceive.

            To make a long story short, it has been 2 years my husband and I are doing the treatment in LPPKN. I am sorry because I cannot tell the details about how the doctor treats me. I don’t remember what medicine that I took. I did my first IUI in 2013 but unfortunately that procedure failed. So I stopped the treatment almost in 2 years. It is not that I am losing hope but it just that I need to focus on my career.

            I have decided to continue my treatment in this year but I cannot proceed because I am late for almost 3 months. I have to wait for my period menstrual to appear. I never experience this late before. I had checked UPT five times already but the results remain negative. I am almost losing hope but as many as I read, I found out that there are many people around the world having such problem but they are still get pregnant. In some other cases, they still had period menstrual cycle every month but still get pregnant too. In conclusion, there is still hope as long as Miss P is not appearing.

            Not having a child until now is very stressful. I am sad, yes, I am.  I know my husband is upset too but he knows how to hide his feelings.  Fortunately, I am so lucky because my family and my husband’s family never mention about this. People around me also stop asking me that heart-broken-question. So, I am so grateful. I live my life to the fullest. Not having a child is not the indicator that I am not happy with my life…with my husband. We are happy. I am the one who need to define my happiness. I am distracting myself from this problem by doing what I love to do, scrapbooking and reading. I am so lucky because I am surrounded with friends who are very supportive and they always guide me to look at the bright side. I will keep my mind positive. I believe that Allah knows what is the best for me. He has a great plan for me. I just need to keep praying, keep hoping and keep trying. I believe in miracles. Hopefully, my dream will come true someday.